Sometimes it just drops in * active possibility * writer’s advantage
As I was sitting on the couch this morning writing I began to wonder,
What does it feel like to fall in love?
I continued to write in my journal and realized that I am in love. In love with writing. In love with my playful, creative journey.
My own experience is that falling in love has the quality of dropping down Alice’s rabbit hole.
Besides my own experience of falling in love, I have witnessed many of my friends become suddenly and seemingly out of control * acting crazy * not knowing what they are doing.
When you are falling in love your beloved is unique to YOU.
When you are falling in love adversity brings you closer. You get all fired up! You want to be together all the time and you can do this because you are energized and motivated to be together.
When you are falling in love there is an attraction * commitment * an investment that can seem like an obsession like no other.
Becoming aware that I am falling in love with writing and my own playful, creative process is no small matter. My state, this crazy state of being in love, means that I am open to dropping down into the depths where, it is possible, I may remain without opportunity for recovery. That is, if I enter into my love affair and lose myself entirely to that liminal space.
Right now I am available and open to a commitment. I’m willing to invest my time because I am committed to creating new pieces of writing. There is an attraction, a calling that I can’t dismiss. Writing and creating new projects energizes me when I am tending what is unique only to me as the writer and creator.
I have been writing personal narrative and my memoir since the 90s. There is a certain amount of obsessiveness related to writing about my personal experience and story. Thoughts of the son I relinquished in 1987 have preoccupied me over many years. I wrote my doctoral thesis on surrogacy and also created a selchie dance and video which shares my personal story through the lens of the selchie (seal-woman) myth. As I continued to write I began to write a more detailed version of my story in 2004 in the form of a memoir which now is an edited draft manuscript. My memoir is now part of a larger memoir project and I am working toward completing my story this year. I am performing my story and being transformed through the writing and performative process.
My writing and core life story are coming around full circle. The son I relinquished almost 30 years ago has contacted me. He now knows his story and my story is being flushed out in ways that are magical, healing, and transformative. There is magic in new beginnings that happen to us moment-to-moment. When anyone falls in love with their creative process, their muse, their beloved, it is certain to be a crazy time of upheaval and uncertainty and also a time of meaning, and purpose, and transformation.
Some writing * creative prompts for you to play with:
- I want to spend all my time ________________.
- I feel renewed and highly motivated when I…
- I am committed to…
- I am open to ….