Category Archives: Values

Personal Story, Birth, and the Real Deal We Call Life

After years of writing my personal narrative, many deep, interwoven conversations, visual journaling, and performance…in less than a week…

I will say his name * meet him in-person * hold him in my arms.

January 23, 2017, on what would have been my mom’s 95th birthday, William called me. He told me how scared he was to leave a voice message asking me to call him. He asked me about his story, how he came to be.

Today I booked a flight to visit William in-person. Next week we will meet for the first time. He’s leaving the hospital after undergoing major surgery Monday evening. William’s cancer has moved from his skin, to his lungs, and now to his brain.

The phone rings and William says, They got it all.

He is hopeful and I am expectant once again.

The thing is, he is real to me now. For years, I have been using the phrase, my surrogate son. What a relief to be able to say his name, William, and know him as a person who loves to watch sports, wants to find work as a sports journalist, hike hundreds of trails.

Over the next few days, I will be gathering some of my journals, photos, and other treasures so that I can share them with William when we visit next week. Poems, memoir writing, research from my doctoral dissertation on surrogacy, performance-storytelling.

The first time we meet

Just making the reservations for my shuttle to the airport and flights was a struggle. Crying at the bank, at the pharmacy while trying to get through to the pharmacy clerk who is holding Michael’s medications post-stoke for ransom! Crying in the art studio while collaborating on a flyer for our fundraiser. I am tripping and almost fell yesterday because I have so much in my head and forgot about my feet. I keep reminding myself to ground. I’m wondering if I should rent a car but I am also concerned that I won’t be as focused as usual while driving the Los Angeles freeways.

Feeling the immediacy of the moment. I am grateful for the real deal, live life to the fullest!

I invite you to check in frequently here and on the Play=Peace blog.

Read the follow-up story Sit Back and Enjoy the Trip

The Courage to Attend to Your Dreams and Act on Their Behalf

Do you acknowledge and act in response to your values?

Psyche calls you whether you are ready or not. Well before I feel ready, my night and waking dreams are offering me what I need to start + what I need to stay in a committed relationship with what I value most. Questions that run through my head are:
What is my intention?  What do I understand about my intention? Is my intention flexible? What is my level of commitment to what I intend to do? Will my commitment change over time?
My night dreams
are gifts. I store what I can of these gifts in my journals. My dreams help me in becoming who I am…and then who I am again…and again…and again…as I perform my life. I am eager to learn all I can about my individuation journey. There is so much I do not know as a woman, mother, nana, writer, playful spirit, and creator. I am open to travels that go way beyond what I know at this moment.
My waking dreams
in the form of day dreams, personal license plates that I might see on the road that strike a cord at a particular moment, graffiti painted on the wall of a building or under a bridge, a line from a page of a book opened at random–these waking dreams, when recognized as in-sight, are helpers as I walk down a variety of pathways which are sometimes easily traveled but most of the time have bumps, fits, and turns to maneuver.
My night and waking dreams are recorded in my journal. I looked back through my journals often and play with dreams that I received recently or many years ago. For me, there is no difference in whether I receive a dream day or night.
Dreams are the portal to the psyche and to the greater good for both myself and others.
Your dreams are calling you to recognize and live your values.
  •  What do you value?
  • What are your commitments and how do you honor them?
  • Are your intentions alive in your day-to-day life?